If I Disappear by Eliza Jane Brazier #review

Title: If I Disappear
Author: Eliza Jane Brazier
Publisher: Constable


When her favorite true crime podcast host goes missing, an adrift young woman plunges headfirst into the wild backcountry of Northern California and her own dangerous obsession.

Sera loves true crime podcasts. They make her feel empowered in a world where women just like her disappear daily. She’s sure they are preparing her for something. So when Rachel, her favorite podcast host, goes missing, Sera knows it’s time to act. Rachel has always taught her to trust her instincts.

Sera follows the clues hidden in the episodes to an isolated ranch outside Rachel’s small hometown to begin her search. She’s convinced her investigation will make Rachel so proud. But the more Sera digs into this unfamiliar world, the more off things start to feel. Because Rachel is not the first woman to vanish from the ranch, and she won’t be the last…

Rachel did try to warn her.

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My Review:

If I Disappear is a strange, captivating and, at times, bizarre read about a women called Sarah in her 30s who is absolutely obsessed with a missing true crime podcast star, Rachel. She is convinced that something has happened to her and sets out to track her down. Sarah ends up travelling to the ranch where Rachel grew up and taking a job (undercover) with her unknowing family looking after the horses, in the hopes that she will uncover some ‘clues’. Things start to get a bit creepy and it becomes apparent that there are lots of secrets in Rachel’s very odd family…

Firstly, If I Disappear is quite an abstract read. The main character, Sarah, is quite an enigma. We don’t find out much about her at all, apart from that she is divorced and seems very lonely – which may help to explain some of her actions. The lack of solid background information means I found it quite hard to warm to Sarah as a character; I didn’t find myself particularly caring about what happened to her, but then I assume the fact her background was left a bit of a msytery was intentional, to keep the reader a little confused and uninformed. It certainly works!

The plot itself is equally bizarre with lots of strange going-ons and odd character interactions, some of which is more believable than others! I found the story a bit odd at times but I really like the way the author writes – the story flows really well and it’s easy to read, although there were points where I wondered what on earth was going on. However I liked the fact that it felt a little different and found myself racing through it in no time!

Rating: 3.5/5

Many thanks to Constable for providing a copy of this novel on which I chose to write an honest and unbiased review.


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